In Illinois family law, divorcing spouses typically cycle through a wide variety of common divorce fears. Put plainly: divorce can be a frightening process, especially for those who have long-term marriages, shared finances, and children.
Sometimes, divorcing spouses struggle just to articulate their fears. However, the Bruckner Hernandez team typically sees three common fears throughout the Illinois divorce process.
Common Divorce Fears #1: Fear Surrounding Finances
Among common divorce fears, finances rank at the top. Previously, the soon-to-be-divided assets went towards supporting a single property. Now, how can they appropriately divide them to care for two?
In a Collaborative Divorce, a neutral financial professional can help divorcing spouses obtain a realistic picture of their finances. Then, the professional offers options for division of assets and debts that best benefits both parties. The focus changes from the attitude of “How do I get the biggest share of the pie?” to “How do we maximize the pie?” The professional also factors in tax ramifications, so both spouses understand how to make their future financial situation work for each of them.
Common Divorce Fears #2: Fear Surrounding Children
In the list of common divorce fears, fear surrounding children and their well-being top the list. Many parents worry about how their minor children adjust to living in two different homes. The concern revolves around the future development for the children.
Notably, this fear also connects to finances. For example, will my children suffer from a lifestyle change? Will I have to spend more than before as a single parent? Similarly, the Collaborative Divorce process opens up the door for an amicable conversation. When necessary, a coach or child specialist joins the team. Next, the specialist assists both parents in creating a parenting plan. This reasoned approach greatly lessens the impact of the transition on the minor children.
Common Divorce Fears #3: Fear of the Unknown
The simple ambiguity of the future after divorce causes massive anxiety for many divorcing spouses. Moreover, this fear tends to increase when one spouse does not want to proceed with the divorce. The reluctant spouse often fears every component of the process, including finances and the children’s future.
Again, involving a divorce coach, counselors, and other specialists can help to mitigate this fear. Since this fear takes place solely inside our head, simply talking through the anxiety plays a big role. Worth noting, the Collaborative Divorce process acts as a seamless onramp for these discussions.
Pre-Divorce Legal Counseling
At Bruckner Hernandez Legal Solutions, we offer pre-divorce legal counseling as a way to help people to identify their common divorce fears. Once they do so, divorcing spouses can obtain information and resources that will enable them to reframe how they think about those fears and proactively find resolutions.
By identifying the major concerns of the client, we can alleviate some of those fears and provide resources that are tailored to their specific needs. For legal guidance through the Illinois divorce process, contact the family law firm at Bruckner Hernandez Legal Solutions, LLC.